do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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