Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
