she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
