Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
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