quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Your cock deserves a montage
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize