my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
50% drunk capacity currently
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Randomize