i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize