I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
