Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
