They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
