i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
