so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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