Her vagina should come with caution tape.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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