I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
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