How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
