Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
