I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize