Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
no you cant smoke seaweed
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Success! We fucked roommates!
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
