Nicole vs. Life
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
