Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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