so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
