so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
