69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
