There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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