You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
