I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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