The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
