Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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