i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
