I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
