im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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