I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
