no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
