we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
