if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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