She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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