uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
