I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
