But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
