I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
