dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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