would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
