i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
