What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
