I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
