Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
