I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
