Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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