Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
