Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
