A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Randomize