Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
No...this little piggys going to the bar
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
