Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
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