This show inspires me to have sex in space
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize