Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
