He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
