We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
