everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
