Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Randomize
