did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
nutella sex= disaster
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
