Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
