i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Sorry about my life...
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
