i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
